I hate wind

I mean I *really* hate wind. And I don't care what the online weather people say "current conditions" include more than 16mph winds! Ack!!!! Is it fair I ask you???? It snows, honest to pete SNOWS so it sticks in frelling West L.A. while I'm here in the Inland Empire in a windstrom for a week? Is this just? My weather karma must really suck.

It really did snow in West L.A. I saw pictures on the news of the park across from my office bathed in white. It snowed in Malibu! When I was discussing my utter awe of this with a (totally cool) librarian from UCR, I mentioned that it snowed on the ashes of Suzanne Somers house in Malibu -- we both agreed it was a sure sign of the impending apocalypse. What you don't believe me? you missed the news last week? Check out NBC San Diego's pics http://www.nbcsandiego.com/slideshows/index.html or the ones from the L.A. Times http://yourscene.latimes.com/mycapture/photos/Album.aspx?EventID=220254&CategoryID=20832

This is a street near my hovel in L.A.:


This is Malibu:


Not much snow you say? You've had more? May I remind you this is Southern California!!!!!:


Who, pray tell, knew L.A. even had snowplows?????


But noooooooo. I don't get snow. I don't get fun, rare, white, fluffy stuff to play in, I get wind. And I HATE wind!!! The windows all rattle. The house creeks. Branches bang. I keep waiting to hear the fence come crashing down. Oh and let's not even mention how every gust makes the plexiglass insert above the air conditioner just behind where I'm sitting right now rattle and make me contemplate how it could come flying at my head any second now when the duct tape that holds it in place gives. The swirly copper sculpture which hangs from the eve of the front patio is swinging so hard it's setting off the front motion-detecting security light and it (the sculpture) keeps clanging against itself.

What a great opportunity to stitch, you say. It's not like you can sleep. True, but my stitching is trapped in a dark corner I can't access easily (read: "at all") from where I am currently. Sure, had I had my precognition switched on earlier when I left that room with my computer to finish the online edits which my office needs first thing this morning, I would have taken the stitching with me. But, sorry, no, I forgot to gaze into the future just then.

Jeez!!!! The front door just blew open!!!!!!!!!!! Sure, no I *wanted* to stay up all night. As I pass my formerly sleeping sister on the way to close the door she asks if I'd been asleep. Asleep???? With the house rattling and the windows about to pop? Yeah, I was asleep. Uh huh. Not tonight, honey!!!!

Sixteen MPH, my fanny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!